Armchair Captain Mugs

"When I first planned my retirement it was an ocean going 7 berth yacht with jacuzzi and helipad..."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Putting Practice.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Goal!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Internet Cafe.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."