Aristocracy Appreciator Pillows

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Punk Reindeer

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

Gentleman's Club Scene

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

'New money or old money?'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

The Duke of Earl meets the Earl of Duke:''Hey, baby, wot's happenin'!' 'Charmed!'

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

cayetana de alba

Duchess

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

The Frozen Out Fox Hunter (Tobogganing)

"So what are you the earl of?"

"You think more of Football than you do of me!", "I think more of Earl Spencer than I do of you!!"

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

'Well it's a ransom, sire, but I wouldn't call it a King's Ransom...'

Downtrodden Abbey

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

So Sympathetic

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

The Nobility Scooter

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'

'Oh yes, everyone likes him, he's not intelligent enough to make enemies.'

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."

Potential Partners