Apt-title Admirer Gifts

Very Condensed Books

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Moby Dick

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"Happy Birthday!"

Red hot little combo

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

Christopher Nolan caricature

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

They had the technology to rebuild him: The $ 6,000,000 egg.

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

A potato's favourite video

'Of course it's sold so well, every time I hide my wife's copy she buys another.'

"It looked a lot better on Colin Firth."

"Well, I admire your resilience."

"What are you crying about? You're the one who wins all the awards."

Quackie was sure he would beat all his competitors, mistakenly believing that the three stages of the triathlon were swimming, running and flying.

Christopher Fry.

Dalek gardening...

Four Weddings and a Funeral and a Bag of Popcorn and a Coke

Thank God for the flashlight app!

"Oh, look. Tonight, the role of Doctor Lessac, normally played by some guy I never heard of, is being played by some other guy I never heard of."

Children's Book Publishers. It's a sequel -- The little engine that could turns into a whistleblower!

Jodie Foster

'Texting you to let you know that I'll be calling you about a new video-conference app that I read about in a magazine.'

Housemaid

Mysterious stranger wonders who he, himself, is.

"'Give my regards to Broadway. Remember me to Herald Square.'"

"I've watched this a million times -- I wish they'd make some new old movies."

"Wow! This is just like the tv show I've spent my whole life emulating!"

"Belay the search mission. I just realized I have a find my phone app."

Book Signing: All-time Best Selling Book, Meet Author Today.

"If we tell millennials the brain is an app maybe they'll start using it."

Gamblers Anonymous