Approval Rating Analyst Pillows

Kerry skiis down Bush's Iraq War approval ratings.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

Four Star Meal

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

'Another casualty of U.S. Rating agencies...'

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

this place got five stars for its fresh food

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

'Dirty, lesbian, whore, bitch, gang bangs turned out to be Finding Nemo!'

How your grandparents act vs. how your grandparents vote.

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria

'Hey! Who stole my stamp of grudging approval?'

"I was studying the dog's behaviour and had an epiphany! The more affection I fake, the more benefit I get. It's life transforming..."

Couple burning romance graffiti

'I'm rating stuff.'

"This place is fantastic. I understand it got four stars in some blog somewhere."

'Hmph! Another programme trying to grab ratings'

"I'm sorry Tim, but our online profiles aren't compatible anymore!"

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'Don't be too impressed -- he got it for surrendering.'

"I wish you'd be more supportive of my efforts to divorce you."

'Darling leave the box off tonight.'

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

BILL & YADDA-YADDA GATES foundation

"Have you any idea of the breakup value of this marriage?"