Reputation Analysts Pillows

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

Occu-Pie Mars

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

They're Not Just That Into It

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

The Circular Logic of Fascism

Putin and Zelensky

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

U.S. Credit Rating

Before the riots/after the riots

Standard And P****d.

'Wait a minute....!

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Recession

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

Giving Up a Little Privacy

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

How Trickle Down Economics Work

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Wait a minute....!

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

War of Words

"First the artillery softens them up. Then the armored division moves in, followed by the infantry. And remember: we're dealing with hardened asylum seekers."