Appliance Store Owner T-Shirts

'This one is more expensive, but it comes with factory installed door art and notes.'

'She was cleaning out the refrigerator and it turned on her'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Cut Price

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Important Food Groups

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Witch Hardware

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

"My compliments to the can opener."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Entertainment systems

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Uh-oh.'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"To toast!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"You never know what will catch on!"