Appliance Store Owner Mugs

'This one is more expensive, but it comes with factory installed door art and notes.'

'She was cleaning out the refrigerator and it turned on her'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Cut Price

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Important Food Groups

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My compliments to the can opener."

Witch Hardware

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Entertainment systems

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'Uh-oh.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"To toast!"