Appliance Retailer T-Shirts

'And with this model we throw in a nice selection of refrigerator magnets!'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My compliments to the can opener."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Entertainment systems

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

The Guy Who Was Hooked Up To The Wrong Machines

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.