Apple Mugs

Air Pods.

"Just be yourself."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Apples for sale

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Candid Camera store.

Apple Pie Abduction

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Kritik's Korner

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Say hello to my little friend."

The star hunters

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Tree Passion

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.