Apple Gifts

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Just be yourself."

Apples for sale

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Apple Pie Abduction

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Say hello to my little friend."

Candid Camera store.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

The star hunters

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

Tree Passion

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.