Appearance Artist Gifts

A man compares how he looks with different tobacco products before deciding a pipe.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

Alien Beauty Magazine

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Woman applying makeup

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Hairstyles

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"More concealer?"

Television guests' essentials in November.

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

The girl who has everything...