Appearance Artist Gifts

A man compares how he looks with different tobacco products before deciding a pipe.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

Woman applying makeup

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Alien Beauty Magazine

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Complete Makeover

"More concealer?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

The girl who has everything...

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

Television guests' essentials in November.

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."