App-loving Comedian Gifts

"Since laughter is the best medicine, I'm downloading the Laugh-Track App."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

I've always been slower than computers...

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

Noah posted his first tweet.

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

"That guys is stealing my data!"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

Isn't it cool? I printed out my reply to your raise request using the 3-D printer! NO!

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

'Universal remote, my eye!'

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

Knights of the iPhone

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'