Apostrophe Authority Mugs

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

Trial by Media

Punctuation Police

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

Coming to a consensus.

"They're really more like a bucket list."

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

Continental marshal

The boss is always right.

"To become a department manager you've got to radiate authority and self-confidence! Authority! Self-confidence!!! Got me??!"

When PJ says no, that's the end of it!

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

"I like things to be done my way but by somebody else."

'Without the comma, colons and semi-colons would rise up to oppress us.'

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

"Nice touch, Jenkins. I like a man who salutes."

A'sk me about my problem with apo'strophe's.

Panel with Experts to be broken in case of emergency

'Hey! Who stole my stamp of grudging approval?'

Power: 'It's mine and you can't have it.'

'Let's play school. I'll be the principal and you be the teacher, or you be the principal and I'll be the superintendent.'

"No, she likes me best!"

'You know what I like about being the boss? I can take as long as I like to make a snap decision.'

Boy teasing a guard

'Honey, why do you always put me int he rear seat of you patrol car when you give me a lift home?'

'I can't prescribe anything for his midlife crisis but I know a high school principal who'll scare him out of it.'