Apostrophe Advocate Gifts

'Without the comma, colons and semi-colons would rise up to oppress us.'

"Is this the grammar lover's club?"

Punctuation Police

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

Complaining about poor grammar

"And now what will you do with your advanced arts degree now that we no longer have any culture?"

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

Prosthetic Society Annual Hoe-Down : 'You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out..'

'Don't ask for anything.'

A'sk me about my problem with apo'strophe's.

Back in the old days, when mob rule etiquette counted for something.

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

"Can we not argue in public? Buzz me up and let's discuss this calmly."

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

'His favourite bones are in the postman's leg!'

She looked even better in person. Although she might be Photoshopped.

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

'I'm doing my bit to develop a global response as part of Fonterra's infant formula risk management strategy.'

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

Learning blocks