Apostrophe Advocator Gifts

Punctuation being forgotten - say linguist's.

Trial by Media

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Punctuation Police

Thank you, Essential Workers

Detention Center

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"They're class action figures."

Human Rights for All

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

The scales between gluttony and hunger

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and mopper-upper guy."

Violence against children.

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

"Called to the piano bar again, you naughty boy?"

'Now tell me Mrs. Swartsbunt, can you pick out the guy who slaughtered your husband?'

"And now what will you do with your advanced arts degree now that we no longer have any culture?"

"No Guv, I ain't a defendant. I'm the guy wot did it."

Labour Protests