Aphrodisiac Adventurer T-Shirts

'Wait a minute, this prescription is for a dozen oysters and half an ounce of powdered rhino horn!'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Needs to get a life"

"This will be hilarious!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Shoot For The Moon

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

Halo Frisbee.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

2pm meet your Creator

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

Astronaut