Anxious Mortals T-Shirts

"I'm not having palpitations right now, but I think we can recreate them by telling me my copay."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

Airplane Mode.

"You dropped yer wallet."

Trust

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

"Hell: The Airport"

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"You call that worrying?"

"I feel we're making progress."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

From the tournament of neuroses parade

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

What's that? - 'I've written a list of my anxieties.' - 'To help you tackle them 'head on'?' - 'Err... not exactly.' - 'To help put things in perspective?' - 'I just like writing lists, really.' -

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

'Why the seat belt.' Restraining patient.

"Several of my dreams have come true, doc. Unfortunately, they're all me sitting on a bus in my underwear."

"On the plus side, worrying about Brexit is stopping people worrying about the end of the world."

"Now we know all about things completely out of our control."