Anxious Eater T-Shirts

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

"Please don't kill me."

"But how do you know my sprouts aren't contaminated with novichok?"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Fear of news.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"The penicillin looks good."

Ice Cream Flavors

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Eating huge amounts of chocolate sometimes helps."

Access Denied!

Covid-19 Caution

"Michael, do your dinner."

"You complete me."

Exercising in Confinement

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

Saturn Devouring His Feelings

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"You came up in therapy this morning."