Anxious Conversationalist Pillows

Choose your social anxiety coping mechanism!

What price beauty?

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Prisoner speech

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'I suffer. What do you do?'

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

Send. End.

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

'OK! I'LL talk!'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

'Of course my income didn't really take off until I left tele-marketing and got into insurance fraud.'

'Mom, did I come preassembled or did you and dad have to put me together?'

'You could say I'm a pessimist. The glass isn't just half-empty, it's not even what I wanted to drink in the first place.'

"And how long have you been agoraphobic?"

"Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean...."

Meet Jim, you've a lot in common...he's an insufferable bore as well...

'Do you have any enemies?' - 'No, only a lot of friends who hate me.'

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

'For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.'