Anxiety Humor Lover Pillows

"Timing is everything. The moment they relax and stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, I let 'em have it!"

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Some scents are nonsense.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Food chain.

Agoraphobic Explorer

'Has the news finished yet?'

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

Safe harbour

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

Room 101 Tax Inspection

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

'I'm shaking a bit!'

Pre-minstrel Tension.

'You were afraid for the drill?'

People go out of their way to hurt me phobia: 'Believe me, Carpenter, when I fired you I didn't have the faintest idea it was your birthday.'

Bubbie's parrot

'Your problem is that you're a Johnny Carson guy in a Jay Leno world.'

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

Take The Guesswork Out Of Your Diagnoses!

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."

"Before we begin, would you like a prozac?"

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."

A man's head disappears into his torso, replaced by a sign that reads: Next Showing 1:00