Anxiety Averter Gifts

Desk bins: 'Not to worry, Not to worry, Not to worry, and PANIC.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Mind-Fullness

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Nervous Oral Testing

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"Pencil eraser."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

"I need a gap year."

"Can I get back to you? I'm getting a call from my worry-coach."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"You call that worrying?"

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"I feel we're making progress."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Concern Chart

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."