Anxiety Avenger Gifts

'In preparing for his big speech Thorton practices freezing mindlessly in front of a mirror.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Flu vaccine.

Your stress is stress-related.

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

Nervous Student

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'You have a fauxbia.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."