Anxiety Adventurers Gifts

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'You don't have to worry, they're not poisoned.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Hell: The Airport"

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"You call that worrying?"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Yeah, well, we've all got baggage."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"My main worry is my anxiety."

Agoraphobic Explorer

From the tournament of neuroses parade

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

What's that? - 'I've written a list of my anxieties.' - 'To help you tackle them 'head on'?' - 'Err... not exactly.' - 'To help put things in perspective?' - 'I just like writing lists, really.' -

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'