Anti-spam Advocate Pillows

Vote McWhirtle. No salesman will call!

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

Spam.

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"You say you know at last where you made the wrong turn in your life. You never told me you made a wrong turn in your life."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Pandora's Inbox

"Clean your browser history, mate?"

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

"Mmm, Spam."

'You need to be more accessible to your employees... so you'll need to get rid of the moat.'

"What do you mean 'Get her to stop'?...Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her tell her 'I hear you'...and grow a thicker skin! Baby tears aren't little grenades, loser!"

"I'm here to protect your data!"

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

"Handwrite and mail grandma's thank you note instead of texting? I don't have this kind of time!"

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Gerald?"

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

'We're sorry. Your answer to your secret question was incorrect. Your bank account has therefore been erased from our banking system.'

"Pssst! Wanna buy back your browser history?"

'Don't act too adorable...we'll be half naked on the internet before we even know what privacy is!'