Anti-diet Culture Enthusiast Pillows

'I hear you quit your modeling career.' 'Yes --I got tired of life in the Slim-Fast lane.'

Bride throwing diet book away

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

Lite Beer.

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

'Not another Doctor Who spin off!?'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

'Does this fig leaf make me look fat?'

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"I want you to decrease your salt intake and increase your pepper intake."

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

'I'm going to start you off with a simple diet -- don't eat anything you can't pronounce.'