Anti-diet Culture Enthusiast Pillows

'I hear you quit your modeling career.' 'Yes --I got tired of life in the Slim-Fast lane.'

Bride throwing diet book away

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Lite Beer.

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

'Does this fig leaf make me look fat?'