Anthropology Fan Gifts

'How can we prevent preganancy? We don't even know what causes it.'

Early detection was rarely helpful.

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

Cave Art Propaganda

'The cro-magnons were a lot less uppity once Neanderthals got the ipod.'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"I know why the hunters are helping us gather. They're making beer from the grain."

Ancient man

"Watch your wallet. There are a lot of 'gatherers' at this party."

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

'You can only believe half of what you read on a cave wall.'

Before the invention of applause.

Caveman with a stand for his clubs.

"If Australians are descended from Englishmen, then why are there still Englishmen?"

"Too much club."

"Sorry, no returns after 8 pm."

"Maybe someday we could set aside a cave just for art."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

A caveman paints from life

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

Physician tending a mummy.

Evolution Exam Results.

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."