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"Would you like to insure that agaisnt fire?"

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

A caveman paints from life

There's a couple of those semi-bipedal guys. "Knee-anderthals"!

'Are you expecting some BODY?'

'It's official. The hunters have merged with the gatherers.'

'Og and Ooga sitting in a tree, e-v-o-l-v-i-n-g!'

'You can only believe half of what you read on a cave wall.'

10,000 years BC, Begging is discovered

Don't move, Oog, me swat

'He gets credit for inventing language, but he was just belching.'

'Are there still cannibals?'

'By standing upright, we free our hands for...creating civilization.'

Park Service: Men/Women/Hunter Gatherers

"Ignore him. We don't talk to the gatherers."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Physician tending a mummy.

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

Evolution Exam Results.

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Those Were The Days