Anomaly Explorer Gifts

Warning: Warp in the space-time continuum ahead.

Crab with a clown face.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Hell: The Airport"

"You call that worrying?"

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Medical Curiosities

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

Myths and Other Urban Legends