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"That was good, but less tongue next time."

Scaring the birds.

'Are you trying to make me paranoid or something?'

Vegetabull.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Houston, we have a problem."

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Move along please. There's nothing to see here!"

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'Well no wonder it didn't work!'

Land of the Average Sized Cows!

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

"He followed me home, can I keep him?"

Vaccines vs Variants