Animal Welfare Officer T-Shirts

'...Do not feed the bears'

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Foster failure

Support group for sheep.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"We’re a lending aquarium."

The Golfing Accident

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Be kind"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."