Animal Taming T-Shirts

"That's Big Har Morran. He can tame any wild hare west of Pecos."

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Bert's dog training.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Agility God

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Street Organ - Monkey

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"The kid's good."

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

Getting Rid of the Cure

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

Education Guidance

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"Service."

"She does this when she's tired."

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"Not until you fetch the other one."