Animal Racing T-Shirts

'What do you mean you didn't win the race?'

"One drawback of professional racing was the list of banned substances: I had to give up coffee for the duration..."

'My feet are killing me.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"I need to tinkle."

Ancient Racing

Go! Means NOW!

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

A day at the transgenic races

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Bob's Driving School.

Knight in shining Lycra!

Cat Show

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Snail Racing

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

The polar olympics

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Living with Ulrich, such an adrenaline high.

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers