Animal Myth Debunker Gifts

What Lemmings Believe

The Lemmings of Montauk

"Do you ever regret being a lemming?"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Phoenix

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Funky Facts: Turtles.

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

'Don't worry, pal. I'm just here for one of them. You still have eight to go.'

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

"My new day job is killing me."

'Well, so much for that theory!'

'I don't know why she says I didn't spend enough time looking for an interesting topic. Aardvarks are interesting.'

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'Sorry guys, I've checked: The Moon is not made of cheese...'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'Boy you light my fire!'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

Tall stories

'I'm like you guys only, I s**t ten times my body weight!'

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

Rise of the Drones

"I'll have an extra large conspiracy burger with anti-semitism, plenty of racism, stupidity and a load of crap."

The real costs of alternative facts!!

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'