Animal Identity Theorist T-Shirts

'You call yourself a zebra? Where'd you get those stripes, in a zoo?'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Why do they do that?"

Bears catching fish

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Tonight... Hemingway."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

I'm not just being paranoid, Margret. His breath smells like dolphin and I even found a flipper in his coat pocket yesterday. I really think Earl's hitting the bottlenose again.

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."