Animal Genetics Buff Pillows

'Who and what are you?'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

"Anatomy of a cat"

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'Happy New Ear!'

'I don't know why she says I didn't spend enough time looking for an interesting topic. Aardvarks are interesting.'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"See? That's why my Mom wanted me to get her genetics."

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"Obviously somebody contaminated the sample, Kevin."

DNA Analysis

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'

"Does anyone know which heart I'm supposed to replace? There's like, five in there."

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

Fauna Hybrids

Designer Baby.

'Here's my DNA sequence.'

"Why don't they come up with a breed that'll live longer?"

'So now he has some of your genes. Happy?'

Funky Facts: A Baby Koala is called?

"You remind me of myself at your age."

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

Genetically Modified Apples

"He always has to get the last 'meow' in."