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"Cool hat, Walter. Where'd you get it?" "It came with the meal."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

"You're not gonna be around much longer, pal, so do you mind if I eat your nose when you're done with it?"

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

'Oh, it's not that I don't like humans, it's just my allergies.'

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

"Are those the DNA results?" "Yep." "And?" "You're a dog."

"Sure, you can talk the talk, but can you swim the swim?"

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"Barking can be very affirmational."

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

Catsplaining: Actually, Jerry, cats need to eat seven times a day to stay healthy

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

"Please. Please just stop barking."

"If you could spend an hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'I wouldn't say I'm apathetic, I just don't give a hoot.'

"Personally, I don't think anything is truly experienced until one rolls in it."

Beef Encounter.

'sure, Lassie made us Border Collies popular, but the drawback is that people expect us to save them or run for help all the time...'