Animal Comedy Connoisseur Pillows

"It's the second time this week he's mixed up his hairpiece with his hairball."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Faster, Georges, faster!

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

The Rooster Comedian.

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

The Trojan Beagle.

Happy Hour

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Bangers and Mash

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'