Animal Beauty Enthusiasts Pillows

"Will these hooves ever dry?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Polly txt speak

The Zoo.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Pick me!"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Seagiraffes

Life is for the birds.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Cow Pinatas

Horror movies

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Canine Companion

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"The hyenas started it."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'