Anglicanism Gifts

John Newman

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

Cherub on a cloud

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"If it isn't E mc2!"

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Actually, he's not all that big, but he's really ripped."

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'

Placed by the Gideons

"J is the reason for the season."

Chicken Soup For The Soul's Soul.

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'