Anglicanism Gifts

John Newman

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

Cherub on a cloud

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"Actually, he's not all that big, but he's really ripped."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

Death of the pope.

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'