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'Damned tourists.'

"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

No, those were not my last words! I told you you never listened.

'To err is human, but to forgive is unusual.'

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Angel Romance

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

Spring Break!

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

'What's the pass-word?'

"I hear they're desperate for new users."

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

"Somehow I thought we'd be done with all that."

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.