Angelic Merrymaker Pillows

Angelicus alcholicus.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

May your Christmas be full of harmony

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

'I'd like to tell you all about it, dear, but what happens in Joe's Bar STAYS in Joe's Bar.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

'Would it upset you is I said I'm not bothered if your heart isn't in it?'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"All I've got left is smoked."

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

Piano Bar

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

Jester

Cats play the double bass

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."