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'I didn't think there would be meetings here!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Scapegoat of the Year

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

"All our staff are equal, but the ones with qualifications are more equal than others."

"Look, I'm for an orderly transfer of power, but all those who want me to resign immediately raise their shoe."

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

The Militant Unionist

'No, we haven't made a decision on your promotion. We're still looking for a reason to deny it.'

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

"The last good idea my boss had was mine!"

"We may not have averted the takeover, George, but we certainly fought the good fight!"

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

After Hours Surgery.

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'

'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

"You're late."

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

"I like Simpson."

"Dad! I made a sand embarrassment!"

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"Did you do all of this for me?"

Danger! Snake heaven.