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"Happens every time someone runs an electric can opener down there."

'T.M.I.F.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"I still hate you."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"So much for eternal rest."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Heavenly Take Out

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"You received your rewards on earth."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."