Ancient Wordsmith Gifts

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

Torturing the English Language

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

Edgar Allen Poe

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Reading my Critics

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Cut Price

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.