Ancient Site Aficionado T-Shirts

"See...polystyrene!"

Bacchus.

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Second hand furniture.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Have you been playing dice?"

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Those Were The Days

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Sphinx Comes Alive

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

"Don't forget the screenplay."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"