Ancient Site Aficionado T-Shirts

"See...polystyrene!"

Bacchus.

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Second hand furniture.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Those Were The Days

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Sphinx Comes Alive

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

"It's called 'Pizza maker scratching his knee.'"

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Jurassic Pork.'

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"Don't forget the screenplay."