Ancient History Gifts

"I completely forget why we're making him do that."

The First Writer and Editor: 'Take out that part?! Are you nuts? How is the stampede scene at the end of the cave going to make sense without it?!'

'What happened between design and development?'

'I like to keep busy. It makes the day go faster.'

470 BC: Socrates addresses lifes' difficult questions. "So if the player receiving the ball is past the last defender when the ball is played..."

'What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!'

'He lifted two! That beats your world record yesterday of one.'

'Well, the boss did say we would be given a forum.'

'Hippocrates wraps up his first press conference...'

Emperor Nero: In Case Of Fire Break Glass.

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

"Truly a magnificent emperor! While Rome burns, Nero plays an instrument that hasn't been invented yet."

'When I was a young neanderthal, we didn't have these fancy fires. We ate our meat BEFORE it was dead. And we didn't need no sissy wooden clubs. Our bare hands worked just fine. And we didn't walk in no fancy-schmancy upright position!'

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

'What did I tell you? - It's time to invent traffic laws.'

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.

"Man, I hate daylight savings."

Horseback.

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

An early prototype of the Trojan horse.

'IV!'

'Here. Who's going to believe Nero played bongos while Rome burned?'

'I'm spending all of my money and if the world doesn't end in 2012, I'll make it all back and more by suing the Mayas.'

"Whatever happened to collective responsibility?"

Saint Paul in a Roman prison cell with Onesimus.

AD 64: Another contestant is voted off Rome's top reality show.

"I was miles away - could you start again?"

"As an animal lover, I find these images disturbing."

'Enjoying a little 'me time', Narcissus?'

Alexander the Great

'A I and a II and a I-II-III...'

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'Well this could be a problem.'

"Another false start for the Western philosophical tradition."