Ancient Cultures Gifts

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

Early fire experiments-"Okay we know it not revolutionary new hair care product. Grog,put it in mouth-see if it make breath minty fresh."

Socrates does lunch

Salt was given to Roman soldiers as wages. That was their 'Salarium' which is the origin of our word 'salary'.

Ancient Greek interior design. "It's a bit Spartan."

"Now that we invented written communication, I'm afraid it will lead to texting, then ruin verbal communication."

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"Your people will remember you for the money you saved them by not building a pyramid."

'If this doesn't work , we'll have to find another use for them.'

'No more asses milk for her bath - she's going on a diet and only wants skimmed milk'.

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

Gladiator Feedback

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

'We're going to confuse archaeologists of the future and bury poor Mildred in the peat bog.'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"General Varus's compliments. Which way to Teutoburger Wald?"

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

'I meant the wine.'

Early Egyptian Fast Food Joints.

2200 BC: Egypt experiences Beetlemania

Think of me not as a god, but as a friend who's always right.

'Im culturally deprived. Both my parents are classics professors, and I don't know a think about TV, movies, sports and popular music.'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

'Updating your phacebook?'

'Every 5,126 years it's the same old thing...get out the chisels and hammer out a new calendar.'

How's my driving? Call 1400-2BSAFE.

"Let's hope that with the passage of time the human race will become three-dimensional."

The real reason for the pyramids.

"Try again."

Mummies busking.

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'