Ancient Customs Explorer T-Shirts

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Ancient Racing

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

'It's an extinction notice.'

Tourists in Egypt

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

Zeus's Caddy

"I'm having my entrails read."

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

The Gladiator.

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"Life after death"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

Souvenirs.

"And pick up a wine - something that goes with fish."

Mummy Beggar

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

"I spy with my little eye..." "The ocean! It's always the ocean!"

Pompeii restoration project.

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'I'm inventing the wheel, and I'd like you to be my SPOKESMAN.'

"What was the Roman attitude to construction?"

Dept of Egyptology - Toot and Come In.

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

Euripides