Ancient Customs Explorer Pillows

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Ancient Racing

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

'It's an extinction notice.'

Tourists in Egypt

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

Zeus's Caddy

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"Life after death"

"I'm having my entrails read."

The Gladiator.

Pyramid Handicap Parking

Souvenirs.

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

Mummy Beggar

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

"I spy with my little eye..." "The ocean! It's always the ocean!"

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

"And pick up a wine - something that goes with fish."

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

Pompeii restoration project.

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

Painted into a corner.

Dept of Egyptology - Toot and Come In.

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"He's an intelligence gatherer."

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

Euripides