Ancient Astronaut Theorist Pillows

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

'Take me to your computer.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

'I've tried hunting, and I've tried gathering, but what I really want is a desk job.'

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.'

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'This can't be good.'

"C'mon, who am I trying to kid? 'The Wheel'...they'll never buy it."

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

'You may find a few things have evolved since we abducted you for our research.'

'Bloody warmongers!'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

"Not bad idea! But no quit day job."

Great Moments in Accountancy.

One day an idea began to form in Klog's head - he quickly took preventative action.

"You're quite the pick up artist!"

Local Election Results - 'Take me to the leader of the oppostion.'

If time is money, why the hell isn't space money?

Why we only see one side of the moon